February 12, 2010

Before introducing her guest, Margaret Wagner (founder and owner of bedroommatters.com), who joined Lisa on today’s show to wrap up “Love Week,” Lisa talked about the definition of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is no longer restricted as a celebration between romantically involved individuals, but instead, is a way to share love with everyone.

Lisa mentioned that she and her family are traveling south to visit prospective universities for her daughter. To her dismay, the recent weather that has hit the East Coast is following her down south to Tennessee and Georgia.

Lisa quickly transitioned into some juicy celebrity gossip surrounding the famous kiss-and-teller, John Mayer, and the very explicit details he recently shared with Playboy in reference to his past relationship with Jessica Simpson. Lisa commented how in the past ten years, Playboy interviews have lost their cultural importance compared to competitors like Esquire. She calls the interview with John Mayer, “low-class,” and “crude,” and continues to comment that the “kiss-and-tell phenomenon is really just gross.” Lisa even made the point that infamous playboy Mick Jagger kept mum about his numerous female partners.

In addition to Mayer’s tasteless accounts of his sex-life with Simpson, he made more inappropriate remarks that, offensive on a normal occasion, were even more so as February is Black History month and some of his comments referenced the African American community. The interviewer asked Mayer, “Do black women throw themselves at you?” Mayer’s offensive response to Playboy’s inappropriate question involved comparing his “male member” to a white supremacist. Lisa continued to point out the offensive nature with which Mayer described various famous female black celebrities whom he finds attractive, which ultimately boiled down the race into one big, unfair, racist stereotype.

In other celebrity news, Lisa discussed the Alec Baldwin story that surfaced Thursday. Lisa commented on the nature of celebrity publicity and publicists and their craft of spinning scandals, relating it to both the poorly-handled Tiger Woods fiasco, and now to Baldwin’s latest media frenzy. Lisa pointed out that despite Baldwin’s reaction to the paparazzi, the symbiotic relationship between celebrity and paparazzi is what keeps the business going, and what keeps celebrities rich and famous. Lisa was not defending the paparazzi; she used Princess Diana’s unfortunate experience with paparazzi as an example, however, noted that Baldwin could have handled the situation with a bit more composure.

Receiving the title of “Low Life of the Week” is singer/songwriter John Mayer for his classless comments in an interview with Playboy.

Lisa’s guest, Margaret Wagner, joined her as an expert on matters of sensuality, and was the perfect pre-Valentine’s Day guest. The first topic of discussion between Lisa and Margaret involved the overall importance of Valentine’s Day. Lisa was curious about the lengths people go to celebrate Valentine’s Day and include it on their holiday schedule.

Wagner has been spending a lot of time explaining to clients and website visitors that Valentine’s Day is not about expectations. She said the two words that get thrown around a lot with couples are “acknowledgement” and “appreciation,” the latter being most important on Valentine’s Day.

Lisa jumped right to the gendered part of the holiday, asking if women are expected to be as “forthcoming” with Valentine’s Day offerings as men. Margaret’s immediate response was, “No.” Lisa was happy to know that a simple Valentine’s Day card is considered sufficient and still sweet in terms of Valentine’s Day gifts for her husband. Margaret said that a card falls under the “acknowledgement” category for men, which is good because it’s not, “wrapped up in expectations.”

Lisa suggested they split up situations into two categories: married couples who already take each other for granted and unmarried couples headed toward marriage who do not take each other for granted. Using herself as the married example, Lisa takes a moment to give props to her romantic husband, Bill. She was happy to share that her husband never misses an occasion to send her flowers or a card. Lisa admits, however, that she is not terribly romantic. With that scenario in mind, Lisa questioned Margaret, asking what the men who are not naturally romantic should do for their partners on Valentine’s Day.

Margaret thinks that the traditional bouquet of flowers is still a great way to show appreciation for a loved one. She added, however, that overly gratuitous gifts, “raise the radar.” This is to say that something out of the ordinary might be all too obviously masking guilt for previous missteps in the relationship.

Margaret went back to Lisa’s gift idea of a holiday card, giving a simple way to make it personal and a bit more thoughtful than the writers over at Hallmark have already printed on the page. She suggests sending your loved one a card with the top 25 reasons that you are most grateful to have him/her in your life. She says that by starting each reason with, “I am grateful for you because…,” the message is most meaningful.

Lisa asked Margaret for her opinion on a point she made earlier show about the universal application of Valentine’s Day. Margaret agreed that Valentine’s Day is for everyone, not just lovers. They relate the experience to the childhood practice of giving paper Valentine’s Day cards to classmates in grade school.

For those without partners on Valentine’s Day, Margaret suggests making a beautiful dinner for one, buying yourself beautiful flowers, and doing whatever else makes you comfortable. She also suggests babysitting for another couple so that you’re giving another couple a night out, which she admits to doing in the past.

After a quick news break, Lisa and Margaret discuss www.bedroommatters.com, Margaret’s website which provides content about classes and workshops, as well as a blog. Her goal is for the site to blossom into a resource where people can visit it to find out how to balance the “passion and sensuality quotient” in their lives.

Lisa explains that with all of the sites and information out there on this same subject, she approves of the way in which Margaret gets her message across. She applauds Margaret for her classy communication of sexuality through the site. Lisa admits to being embarrassed by some of the language used to communicate sensuality, however Margaret stresses the importance of finding language between two people that encourages comfort and not embarrassment.

The ladies switched gears to talk about a Westport production of The Vagina Monologues. Lisa mentioned her happy surprise that all of the show’s proceeds go to charity. Margaret discussed Eve Ensler’s V-Day 2010 charitable presentation of The Vagina Monologues, based on whatever Ensler’s particular drive is at the time. Margaret and Lisa discussed their surprise at the response by some women who are comfortable with the word “vagina,” as well as reports of posters promoting the production being torn down. Local celebrities, like author Jane Green, will be part of this production that will be held at the Westport Country Playhouse (westportplayhouse.org).

Written by Alexandra Kirsch